These days

Well, today was the third day of school. I'm exhausted emotionally and physically. After the first day I came home and cried, took off all my clothes, ordered pizza, crawled into bed and never wanted to get up again. Being a first year teacher is more difficult than I ever thought it would be, and even though I've been "trained", and have a "degree", I feel like I don't know what the hezooo I'm doing. From talking to people this apparently is how EVERY first year teacher feels and goes through which doesn't really help me but I guess it makes me feel like I'm not crazy or incompetent. So I get a double dose of first year teacher, plus holding an almost impossible job to fill position. It's getting better by each day. I can't begin to explain the amount of tasks I have to do and is ahead of me, constantly. I don't even want to think about it due to my now frequent anxiety-panic-overwhelming-sick-to-my-stomach feeling I get when I think about how much is to be done. Just trying to take it day by day and breathe deeply.
My social life is now over as I know(knew) it, so PLEASE don't feel offended when I don't call or email. Believe me, I'm thinking about you and all the movies and vegan baked goods I would rather be making with you! But, I'm here now and I've got a job to do. I am now going to vegetate my mind watching Dog the Bounty Hunter before I crash by 9 on 5 hours of sleep. Send me a prayer and positive vibes....it's gonna be a long year.

xoxo

p.s. Once I dredge through three different grade levels of every different subject teachers edition, this 3 day weekend, I will be up for partying like an animal. But, I may need to be coerced out of my den with a carrot or something. poops.